For those of you who have ever wondered, being a professor does not mean you’re “off” in the summer. I’m really trying to let those relaxed vibes of summer find me, but I’m also playing catch-up (still!) from an insanely busy academic year. I’m spending far too much time on my laptop writing journal articles that have been on my to-do list for months. I have a number of projects – looking at everything from descriptions of diet culture to body image among trans and nonbinary people -- that I really want to attend to before I’m back in the classroom.
As part of my effort to work less, my husband and I went to a movie this weekend for the first time in probably three and a half years. We used to go see movies nearly every month and a highlight of the outing was always sharing the biggest tub of popcorn and soda and calling it dinner. This weekend, I was very happy to sit there in the dark, stuff my face with popcorn, and zone out. We watched a movie called Past Lives, which follows two friends from childhood into their 30s and raises questions about the choices we make, the people we cross paths with, and the role of destiny in adult development.
People sometimes ask me how it is that I ended up studying body image and eating behaviors. I think there are a number of childhood experiences that put me on this path, but my childhood commitment to one day being a ballerina may be most relevant. I started to dance when I was four and quit before I started high school. In the interim, I took the whole endeavor very seriously. I don’t have any videos of my younger self dancing, so I honestly don’t know if I was any good at all, but for whatever reason I thought I was. When I was eleven, after having taken lessons at San Francisco Ballet for years, I auditioned to become a part of their company of dancers. This would mean performing at the outstanding San Francisco Opera House; it would mean living the dream.
I can still see the room where the audition took place: mirrors on one wall, a barre across from them, and windows overlooking downtown San Francisco. I can remember three adults seated at a table watching us perform. When I was done, I left the room thinking it had gone well. Then one by one the dancers were called back into the room for our evaluations. When it was my turn, I was praised for my dancing but told that I, “just didn’t have a dancer’s body.”
I was heartbroken.
But I believe a seed was planted that day. Maybe I’ll write more about the years that followed and how that distress ultimately turned into curiosity. This feels like enough self-indulgence for one month.
Adultish: The Body Image Book for Life
My next book is written with late teens and early adults in mind. As young people embark on adulthood what do they need to know to lead their best lives? (See, there’s something of a theme this month.)
I’ve been editing Adultish for most of June but hope to be sending it back to my editor in early July. Then, the design elements should start to appear in my inbox. Cover design, interior design, fonts, colors, and so much fun awaits! Obviously, I care very much about the content of the books I write, but I also think that an accessible and aesthetically pleasing book is that much easier to pick up and keep reading. I can’t wait until I can share this next book with all of you!
Other newsletters
Finally, I wanted to share a few other newsletters you may like.
My friend and past writing collaborator, Oona Hanson, just joined Substack. If you are interested in learning more about parenting kids so that they can develop a healthy relationship with food and their bodies, check out Parenting without Diet Culture.
Virginia Sole-Smith has been writing about food, guilt, body image, weight stigma, and everything related for over a decade. Find her work at Burnt Toast.
If you have young kids you spend time trying to feed, Laura Thomas’ Can I Have Another Snack may be of particular interest.
If you’re interested in kids’ health more generally (as a parent or educator or someone still sorting out your own youth), Christopher Pepper’s Teaching Health Today always contains information I’m happy to have.
I always love to connect with others who share my interests and are doing work to help kids and parents (or really anyone!) navigate all the confusing health-related information that abounds. Please reach out if this describes you!
Until July…
Your audition story is so poignant. I do hope you'll get a chance to write more about that someday.
Thank you for the shout-out!